I Sort Of Quit Facebook (...mostly that's clickbait)

So it turns out that life with three children sort of looks like this: *ˆ#%#(Q*YQ*Y%Q)UIˆ%@%@% all the time. And somewhere in the midst of that chaos, I allowed myself to get a little lost, all with the good intention of saving my sanity. I will explain this (probably) very common phenomenon...or phenome-'mom' (punny) in a moment, but the important news is that I am now in the process of re-discovering myself...or rather...allowing myself to exist once again in and around my busiest and most demanding responsibilities which directly involve the small people I am charged with turning into functioning human beings. Which. Considering that I've stopped all three of them from eating a bug at one time or another in their short little lives, is no small task.

Here's what happened to me.

I'm an extrovert. Pretty much by-the-book in that I need regular interaction with other adults (let me once again emphasize that I used the word adult. That was intentional.) to avoid becoming sucked into a fog of melancholy. But guess what just so happens to be unbelievably difficult to come by as a mom? Oh right. Regular interaction with other adults.

So in this age of social media, the number one temptation for extroverted mothers (or at least ones who have moved to a city far away from any family or friends and who has a husband who both works and goes to school and is therefore rarely to be found as a suitable outlet for his extroverted wife's extroverted needs) is to use Facebook and Instagram as a conduit for social interaction with other adults.

But here's the thing. It isn't the same.

It's false social interaction. I mean, I know real people are interacting with other real people, but they've done studies (said a TedTalk to me) that show that the parts of the brain that light up with activity during face to face (or even voice to voice) interactions between human beings are not the same parts of the brain that light up when you're interacting 'socially' via social media.

Don't get me wrong; social media is awesome! I love it. I love that I'm still in touch with many friends from high school as a direct result of it's existence. I love that I can share picture of my kids and thoughts about my journey in motherhood with family and friends. I love that I can 'see' family and friends regularly and keep up on their lives to a degree. It fills up a place in my heart that so badly needs to be filled. But then I log off and the feeling of deep satisfaction and renewal that accompanies real life social interactions for extroverts like me does not stick around. Instead, the dopamine and serotonin that flood a brain using social media, gradually begins to drain and I am left feeling highly unsatisfied and in need of another 'hit' of social interaction. And on and on until I'm stuck in a horrific cycle and can't seem to peel myself away from the status updates and memes being shared.

Yesterday, drastic steps were taken. I deleted the facebook app from my phone.

...I know, right? Who even am I?

I mean, I'm not an insane person, I still have my account. And I fully expect to use it pretty regularly. But now it won't be accessible at my finger tips. Now, I'll have to go out of my way to login from a desktop or my laptop, probably while my boys are having their daily quiet time or are in bed so that social media will stop robbing me of precious time with those quickly growing men.

So far, the experiment has been a success. I was so nervous about deleting the app...it literally was probably very similar to an addict destroying their stash. My hands got sweaty, you guys. But man, has it felt freeing ever since. I don't feel an invisible tether, tying me to my phone anymore. I haven't been watching my life pass by, waiting for the next free moment that I can scroll mindlessly through my news feed.

The most important development so far has been that I now have a lot of time freed up in my day in which to explore those things which make me feel like I'm an entire person and not just a house elf. Before, I would hop from mom task to mom task and intermittently would 'take a break' and peruse facebook whenever I started to feel lonely or nondescript as a person [i.e. always]. Now, I play the piano or read my book (currently recommendation: Grace Based Discipline. I think I've finally found the parenting book of my dreams) or journal or BLOG. These activities are much more satisfying and bring a whole lot more meaning and fulfillment to my life.

I still need to solve the 'regular interaction with other adults' problem. But I'm feeling pretty confident that now that I'm leaving space and time open in my day, and not 'fixing the problem' with the band-aid solution of social media, that a more long-term solution will be found. I'll feel much more inclined to step outside of my comfortable little box and stretch myself to meet those needs when I'm not using a Facebook crutch to help myself hobble along.

Wish me luck!

Also, I promise I'll blog more frequently than once every 10 months now. So. Everyone wins! Except for people who hate my blog.

Ya'll are the real losers.

#BecauseWhyAreYouEvenStillReadingThis

Bountiful Fireworks with friends and family. My happy place.